Every year of our life is an extraordinary gift. How we wish to use it’s entirely up to us, sometimes we forget that! Have a look on my recap 2015. Year of Sheep. And maybe think about yours. Repeat what made you happy. Avoid what made you sad! Easy! :)
The time flies faster & faster lately… Feels like I was making plans for 2015 just a few months ago… and here I’m, a year later with new plans & in different country! Today I want to have a look back, recap, to check off my to do list. Time to start planning & remove my head from my ass! Found this great guide, you should definitely have a look – How to Remove your Head from your Ass. :D
What a busy year, many posts, looots of memories, souvenirs & thousands pictures. I completed my checklist, yeey, good girl Lesia :)
- Challenges: Swim challenge, No Fake promise 2015
- Travel: USA, White cliffs of Dover, Spa break in Bristol, Kiev, Dublin
- Work: Launch BiloBlog, create RaceFont
- Improve my living
- New phone & provider
Yes I was quite successful with all my goals & plans. Have seen a lot, finally started something I should have years ago – my BiloBlog. Unfortunately I lost two dear friends – one on the beginning of the year, another-one right on the end. Well more than a friend, a close person I never imagined be without. He made me feel real, alive & so powerless at the sometime. I thought we connected, but realised I’m easily replaceable… such a pain can kill you inside. Well time to move on. So I did! Seems like moving is a story of my life. It brings a lot but takes away a piece of me each time. Is it even possible to feel TOO free? :)
Nickelback – How You Remind Me
Sheep for slaughter
Beginning of the year felt so positive. The grass was so green & juicy! I was full of enthusiasm & energy. After a long time it felt like everything is coming together. Like it is the way it supposed to be. Everything made sense again & future was sooo obviously bright :D Was feeling hopeful, grateful & sure of my self! The perfect timing to cook something unique & tasty, my blog. But unfortunately work is not the one & only part of my life. I couldn’t longer ignore the truth. My truth life role of only a friend. The climate has changed… foggy days, no sun, no hope, no future. Suddenly I felt like a sheep for slaughter. Literally, fluffy powerless sheep.
It was quite a bumpy ride. Travelling, creative projects, breaking up, hoping for change, hunger for more, desperate to feel, looking for answers. They say being busy & positive is the recipe for happiness. Well I managed to lost my self anyway. They say, that every relationship brings out either best or worst of you. I’ve seen my very worst last year! But it took ages to admit it! Once we do, we say it out loud… in hope for freedom of mind & soul. It does feel like a huge relief at first, but then comes insecurity, loneliness & suicidal thoughts even… The darkness I never experienced before.
“Every relationship brings out either best or worst of you.”
Many people make it look so easy – connecting with another human being. Not even realising its the hardest thing in the world. It’s so easy to burn the bridge, so hard to find the true connection. So we cling on those who are at least there, & letting them drain you, while lying to yourself that its better than nothing :D No more, guys! Seriously!
All kinds of shit went trough my head. I really needed to have someone close, to grab on to, once I start spin out of control. It’s tough, I would do almost anything to get out of the weight of it all. But I have to just saw it through it, right to the end. Travelling & blogging is my detox plan for 2016.
Positive thinking was always a “hobby” of mine :) But being broken-hearted doesn’t go hand in hand with positivity & happiness. Like always I was trying to think my way trough it… trying to make a sense of it all & adjust. Went through few stages: thinking of What is LOVE?. Deciding on either Should I stay or Should I go. Well none of these contemplations didn’t prevent me from heart-troubles. Annoying but true. Before something great happens everything falls apart. So I did & then I ran, ran from it all. Will see where this road will take me. I do promise to practise enthusiasm & positivity again :)
“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours. With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”
– Wayne W. Dyer, author & speaker in the fields of self-development & spiritual growth
What I’ve learned
Life in my 30-ties is not even close to the one I imagined for my self :D But many things are clearer year after year.
- 1. I realised that picking up a phone & call someone is the interaction I was missing. It’s so much easier & personal, than endless texting. If you can’t see the person, just press the button & fucking talk!
- 2. I’m not perfect, no one is. Sure I’ve done some mistakes! But I really hope I never did or will make some one feel suicidal, hopeless & desperately alone.
- 3. I’m learning how to love myself by paying attention to what makes me feel good & what drains me. Everything & everyone who drains me has to go.
- 4. Never say never! Seriously never ever! It always happens & come back to bite you in the ass.
- 5. How other treat us is not the true picture of us. So we have to keep OUR picture in mind, & don’t let others to bring us down.
Did you know?
2016 year of Sheep
Chinese calendar marks 15.2.2015 until 7.2.2016 as a year of Sheep. The animal personality representing each year, describes the year & partly people born in it. Year of Sheep was maybe full of changes & experiences, but relatively quiet / shy – good for a family life. If you have found your soul mate already. The rest of us look forward to the next year, crazy year of Monkey! :D When Sheep meets Monkey, a shy Sheep will prepare to get in the spotlight. 2016 will be the Chinese Year of the Monkey – 8.2.2016 – 22.2.2017. If you love Chinese culture or at least delicious Chinese food – visit China town in London! Find out more here Chinese New Year 2016 in London – 14th February 2016.
What is the story behind Chinese New Year?
The date of Chinese New Year changes every year. It follows the Chinese lunar calendar, which means that Chinese New Year falls on different days each year and coincides with the black, or new, moon in January or February. It then goes on for 15 days, until the next full moon. It’s all about regeneration & new life – hence its other name of the Spring Festival. The Chinese New Year has been associated with the Chinese Zodiac since the Spring Autumn Period (771 to 476 BC). The Chinese Zodiac runs on a cycle of 12 years, which each year being named after an animal. The 12 animals are Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Sheep, Monkey, Rooster, Dog and Pig. People are said to hold similar personality traits to the animal named after the year they were born.
Being busy & active person, not even considering failure or loss. Suddenly realising that you are not the one in control. How disturbing & confusing. No one can help you to change that – ONLY YOU! My goals for 2016 are obvious – Positive thinking, finding my true self (again) & detox from negativity! Good luck me! :)
“Stop being a sheep & enjoy a life of crazy monkey!”
What about your year 2015? Do your own recap, it may help you to set your goals & plans for 2016 – Monkey Year: Watch Out “Monkeys”! :) Xxx
Come back soon to read about some thoughts on some steps How to be happy? So you can laugh or maybe try them with me :)
2015 was deffo a hard year. Everyone I met confirmed that 2015 was a literally f**king hard year.
However the harder it was the more we learned – I’ll always be grateful for life lessons. Fact is I am lucky and haven’t been through anything tragic or horrible.
Lesia absolutely agree on the phone action. As if messaging became a new way of communication. People are hiding from each other. Need time to think what to response. Or decide to not response at all..
Sorry to hear you’ve been through so much shit but hey the most important thing is that you saw it, stopped it and loved yourself too much to stay in it. So good luck and all the best!
I believe in you!
And I love you very much my dear Lesia ;)
Aww, you made me cry… almost! Cmuk! You are right, Im grateful for all the lessons – but I would be mooore than grateful if I can finally graduate from all those life lessons :) and just love & be loved and find my place in the world as being lost is not really my thing :)
Thank you for your support & positivity! You are my sunshine in the rain :*
Love you & can’t wait to see you next week!!